I'm feeling pretty crappy right about now. My husband and I had a last-minute change of plans, and we won't be able to attend Akai Con this year. Unfortunately, our happy camper had a change of plans as well. So, instead of attending a new con, like I was hoping to, I will be creating a large surplus of cosplays, accessories, and other artsy things to sell next year at some of the cons there and at the art fairs around my town. I feel really upset by this, but unless we get paid 2 days earlier than normal, we'll be spending our anniversary in town. The reason why we won't be going to Akai Con is because we had to pay for some repairs to our vehicle, which really put a hole in our wallets. I suppose the silver lining for this week, is that we didn't preregister for the con, so it's not like our plans are completely ruined. I will, however, start preregistering for cons in the future. I just can't stand to show up or not show up. I prefer to have these things planned out. And it's just not having to pay for necessary repairs, at last minute, that has me in such a bad mood. I've been feeling this way for some time. I get so worn out from keeping the peace around my home and around people I know, that it's literally sucking the energy out of me. And, the icing on the cake is that I won't be able to attend anymore rabbit shows either due to some perv putting a dirty rag down the front of my shirt, in front of my family, and laughing about it like it was a big joke to everyone there. Not to mention that he's married with two children and that he's supposed to be good friends with my grandparents. And people wonder why I want to homeschool my son and stay as far away from the city as I can. I can no longer take it. I am disgusted with humans. I will no longer allow myself to be treated like dirt. I don't care if it's family, friends, or strangers that treat me this way, I'm not taking it any more. I'm just done. I quit going to big anime cons because I didn't like the way people acted. Maybe, it's not the people. Maybe I just need to reinforce my shields and keep negative people at bay. I don't know. All I know it that something has to change. I've been sexually harrassed before, and I have never liked it. I don't even feel like it was my fault. I don't know how other girls can stand there and not do something about it. So, to all ladies out there, I have a message for you:
Do not, under any circumstances what-so-ever allow yourself to feel at fault when anyone treats you poorly for the "crime" of having female anatomy. Don't stoop down to their level and treat them the same way. Instead, find a nonviolent path to combat it. Even if you have to ask for help from somone else. You're not a victim, waiting to be rescued. You're the ones younger girls look up to.
Even though nobody comments on my journals any more, I just want you to know that I will be created a healthier place to live in and channeling in some light energy, and I will be passing on light and love to all who ask for it. Ask, and you shall recieve. I am also in the process of writing a small book for Empaths which will include my healing methods and how to control this special gift. So long for now, dear friends.