kaze333

It's funny how hard we try to fight the tides of change. The harder we swim away from them, the more we sink below the waves. In the last year, the ocean of life kept crashing upon me and my family. My husband was in a car wreck, we couldn't pay rent, I hadn't been able to find work, and we were forced to swallow our pride and ask for help. The help started when we moved in with my parents. Although my father and I don't see eye-to-eye, we were able to grow and improve on our strained connection. My mother was overjoyed with the chance to have her grandsons living with her. It was hard, at first. However, we've grown accustomed to life with my parents. We still get to enjoy the simple pleasures, while working to get back on our feet. My son's are growing fast, and more and more intelligent. My little Elflings are three and one this year. I don't know what we would be doing now or where we would be, if my parents hadn't been so generous. Almost a year has gone since we've moved in. Although, most people would be ashamed to say that they live with their parents. At times, I am ashamed. But most of the time, I am proud. They help me and my little family, and We help them. It's not perfect, but our life is getting better. My husband has a job, much closer to home. I work at the child care center that my three year old attends. My one year old stays with my mother in the day, helping with her business of rabbits (no, really. She raises rabbits). And my husband is also attending Tech School to earn his certification in HVAC. I know, it will be another while to go before we're able to handle life on our own once again. This time, I hope that it's when the tides push us to it, not away from it. When it comes to that term, "Go with the flow", we really should evaluate the flow. At this, I am happy to say that I've gained a deeper connection with my parents and have found a newer appreciation for my husband. 

I don't remember when I was able to sit down and browse DA. It's been such a long time. With work, kids, and giving a helping hand, I've kept busy. From all of this, I am starting a small business, which will start up on Etsy (I'll update with details once it happens.), that will be specifically for my hippy outlook on life. I have also been challenging myself with writing and my art skills. At this point, anything is possible. 

    So, I say to all who reads this...

I'm just at a loss for words. Everything was going so well for us. We were paying off our bills and making plans for the future...then the whole world came crumbling down. My husband was on his way home from a friends house. He had been up the previous night from working, and his friend convinced him to hang out. At 4:30 P.M. I got the call from the hospital telling me my husband was there. After 20 excruciating minutes I finally got to the hospital and was told my husband was in x-ray. He was in a car accident, and had struck a tree. From the police reports, he had fallen asleep behind the wheel. He didn't have on his seat belt and when he struck the tree he was thrown around in the front seat of the car. The engine was bent into a V shape and is totaled. The collision service had to trash out our two childrens car seats.

Before this had transpired, I had been frantic, calling my husband trying to get him to come home. I am still in complete shock. My husband is lucky to have lived through the accident. He has no broken bones, but had to have stitches on his forehead due to hitting the windshield. The police and paramedics are surprised that he survived this. I am so grateful that he is alive and walked away from this. Where do we go from here? I have never been through something like this. I have never known anyone that has gone through this. We have a two year old son and a six week old son. My husband is also the one who works, as I am a stay-at-home mother. I just can't deal with this. I feel like burying myself alive and screaming out into the Earth.

I ask any who reads this, please say a prayer, blessing, or send healing energies to us. I'm normally an emotionally strong person but right now, my world has shattered.

Awesome sauce news, everyone. I am able to go to MTAC this year. I have been working every chance I have on cosplays and will hopefully be done at the end of this month. Which means, I'll have a busy busy busy busy schedule for the month of April. Here's my cosplay line up:

Friday: Trisha Elric (FMA)
           Kisara/Blue Eyes White Dragon (Yugioh)

Saturday: Daenerys (GOT)

And yes, for you doubters out there, I am definitely going this year. Already pre-registered and will be staying with a good friend close by. I am excited about this and will be sewing like crazy to have everything done early. For those of you that know me and want to meet up during the con, just look for the pregnant trisha, kisara, or daenerys. Won't be hard to miss me. Hope to see you guys there, and to take lots of photos of your cosplays.

I'm feeling pretty crappy right about now. My husband and I had a last-minute change of plans, and we won't be able to attend Akai Con this year. Unfortunately, our happy camper had a change of plans as well. So, instead of attending a new con, like I was hoping to, I will be creating a large surplus of cosplays, accessories, and other artsy things to sell next year at some of the cons there and at the art fairs around my town. I feel really upset by this, but unless we get paid 2 days earlier than normal, we'll be spending our anniversary in town. The reason why we won't be going to Akai Con is because we had to pay for some repairs to our vehicle, which really put a hole in our wallets. I suppose the silver lining for this week, is that we didn't preregister for the con, so it's not like our plans are completely ruined. I will, however, start preregistering for cons in the future. I just can't stand to show up or not show up. I prefer to have these things planned out. And it's just not having to pay for necessary repairs, at last minute, that has me in such a bad mood. I've been feeling this way for some time. I get so worn out from keeping the peace around my home and around people I know, that it's literally sucking the energy out of me. And, the icing on the cake is that I won't be able to attend anymore rabbit shows either due to some perv putting a dirty rag down the front of my shirt, in front of my family, and laughing about it like it was a big joke to everyone there. Not to mention that he's married with two children and that he's supposed to be good friends with my grandparents. And people wonder why I want to homeschool my son and stay as far away from the city as I can. I can no longer take it. I am disgusted with humans. I will no longer allow myself to be treated like dirt. I don't care if it's family, friends, or strangers that treat me this way, I'm not taking it any more. I'm just done. I quit going to big anime cons because I didn't like the way people acted. Maybe, it's not the people. Maybe I just need to reinforce my shields and keep negative people at bay. I don't know. All I know it that something has to change. I've been sexually harrassed before, and I have never liked it. I don't even feel like it was my fault. I don't know how other girls can stand there and not do something about it. So, to all ladies out there, I have a message for you:

Awesome stuff is in the works over here at the sewing corner. Making two cosplays, my husbands pirate cosplay, and my Steampunk Twi'lek cosplay. So much work to do in so little time. Gotta make the dress, of course, and get my husband's measurements. Less than a month away, and I catch a cold alongside my baby. No fun whatsoever. So, instead of sewing lovely satin pieces together, I spent the last few days trying to care for a snotty, coughing, cranky baby and fight off the same sickness. Lovely, just lovely. Not to mention that my husband is on a weird work schedule, so he literally can't help. And with the few hours of sleep I have, I don't want to sleep so I can monitor my son's breathing. This is taking into consideration that asthma and sinus allergies run in my and my husbands family. This means, that I'll be working on costumes at last minute and working on my Dickens dress for Christmas time. No fun. If I didn't have my Shauna Granger book, Apple Cider, and some toast, I'd be one miserable lady right now...